Take My Hand
by I'mJustMeAJ
Summary: 'People are giving looks of pity and sorrow every time I walk down and it makes my stomach churn...Everything feels foreign now especially this town and everyone in it. I feel like a stranger to not only those around me, but to myself as well.' AU! OOC! Dark!Bella. Edward/Carlisle bashing. Dark w. good intent!Volturi. Alive!Didyme
1. Chapter 1

So I'm having a problem deciding what to do for Ch. 13 of Truth as well as what to do with TJNJ and HSS. I got bored a few nights ago and wrote this for Twilight, I'll keep it short for now. Hope you enjoy.

Empty.

Numb.

Lost.

I felt these things the most, in my emotional whirlwind, as I stared blankly ahead. _He was gone._ The three words kept repeating in my head over and over as I glared at the T.V that was on in front of me. _I lost him._ Three new words remind me my efforts of keeping him with me failed and I feel so numb, so empty now. So numb to the physical and emotional pain. I'm not sure how much of myself being lost without him here to help and guide me I can take.

People are giving looks of pity and sorrow every time I walk down and it makes my stomach churn. It's only been a week since he left me alone in Forks and I'm a mess. I'm depressed; I don't eat, barely sleep and hardly move.

Everything feels foreign now especially this town and everyone in it. I feel like a stranger to not only those around me, but to myself as well. I thought he and I had forever, that our little routine would be the same until it was my time to move on and out.

The only real family I've ever know is gone and I know there's only one person I can blame. God how I hate his guts from taking him from me with every fiber of my being. Because of them, because of him the only man that I knew would be there for me whenever I needed him is gone. He's never coming back and it's Jacob's fault because Jacob killed him. He killed Charlie, the boy who was supposed to be my best friend killed my father.

Let me know what you think and I promise I'll have updates to my other stories before the month is over.


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter includes the following:

1\. Cubans

2\. Racism

3\. Talk of asses

4\. A single fight

6\. A plot line that was winged pretty much every step of the way

7\. #6 was done on purpose

In the future, there will be:

1\. Alice bashing

2\. Lesbians (Well more of them)

3\. Chosen mates

4\. Me fucking up entire stories because I can

5\. The real reason vampires sparkle

It's a new day but the pain is the same or is it worse? I roll out of bed and get ready for school; I'm only going because I know he wants- would want me to go and I refuse to let him down more in death than I am now. God and I thought the Cullen's leaving two months ago would have destroyed but I couldn't find a fuck to give; yes, I was sad but I realized if anything Edythe had Carlisle wrapped around her clit and Carlisle would do anything to make sure she was happy over everyone else on the family. If Edythe wanted to leave then Carlisle, as coven leader, would make so.

People try to compare the two; surprisingly it was Jessica not Lauren and she jokes about it all the time which makes me want to snap and hurt her in the worse ways possible. She jokes about my father's passing like she knows anything about what caused it or who caused it. The doctors never gave anyone but me and the bastards on La Push a cause of death: heart attack. A sudden one seeing as my father is- was as healthy as an ox and showed no signs of an impending heart attack. I go to- I went to every doctor's appointment he had, even if I had to skip school, because I knew that it's the- it was the only way for me to know his health standing. He gives me-

Fuck I can't even use the proper tense when I'm talking about him; the whole way I talk about my father has to change and I'm not sure I can take it. I can't use present or future tense, only past tense because there's no going forward with him anymore and it's fucking killing me. Like I'm a fish being gutted while they're still alive and flopping. I want to escape but I'm being held down by a being, by a force so much stronger than I am that no matter how I wiggle, how I squirm or how I try flop, it will never be enough for me to escape. But it's like holy shit he's gone and it's like a slap in the face each day I wake up and go down to make breakfast for two only to realize I'm alone.

The amount of shock that I feel each day waking up coming to this realization, that I'm now going to live forever, is the amount it would have taken to cause my dad's heart attack.

I make it to school on time but sit in my car and stare out the windshield. I won't hear the bell like the others but I'll notice, at the last second, people heading into the school. I was all set for my thirty minutes of blank staring but never got it because someone knocked on my window. I look to my left and see Tyler; I sighed before opening my door and got pulled out of my truck and into a hug.

"I won't force you to talk but I let you be alone any longer." Tyler spoke first when he pulled away, "I can't and won't stand here and say that I know exactly what you're going through or feeling because I don't. But I can empathize with you over a mutual parental loss of a father. I'll be honest there is no getting better or getting over like society wants and feels it should be. They expect you to bounce back like your world was just shaken and torn apart in an instant; they say things like 'you still aren't over that? It was a month you shouldn't still be bothered by it, just accept it and move on.' They try to make you feel guilty for not moving on with your life after an important figure is gone from it." By the time, Tyler finished he was shaking and for a moment I thought he'd turn into a giant wolf but then I noticed he had tears in his eyes.

"Thank you." It was the first time in almost two weeks that I spoke to anyone let alone out loud. My voice was small, shaky and overall pathetic. Even so a small smile spread across Tyler's face as he stopped shaking and dried his eyes.

"No problem Isa I just wanted to give you time to yourself before I approached you." I nodded before I realized something.

"Isa?" No one has ever called me anything other than the variations of Bell and Bella; Isa was kind of a refreshing change.

"Well everyone calls you Bella and I feel like calling you anything without the 'A' is a little dangerous at the moment. I just call you Bella if you want." I shook my head as the bell rung.

"I like it." He nodded and closed my trucks door after I got my bag then we walked to the school with the other students after I locked it. Throughout the morning, Tyler would walk and pick me up from classes we didn't have together and make small talk. He avoided talking about anything death or father related and just talked about classes. We were walking to lunch when Jessica cut off my walking path.

"Bella only two months and you've moved on from Edythe already. I wonder what-"

"Jessica shut up." Almost as soon as Tyler said it Jessica's mouth snapped shut, "If you're going to insult her then don't say anything at all. Now step aside and go about your business." His voice reminded me of one of those vampires from that show the Vampire Diaries, Alice made me watch an episode with her once, when they were compelling someone. I watched in mild amusement as Jessica moved to the side and Tyler guided us to the luncheon. We got our food and sat at the Cullen's old table; I told him I didn't want lunch but he insisted I at least eat the salad he bought.

"That's an interesting ability you have there." I was half way through my chicken salad when I spoke and he paused momentarily. "The Cullen's said it's rare for humans to develop gifts before they're turned." Tyler brow knitted together in confusion.

"Into what?" I looked at him with a raised brow.

"Vampires, they drink animal blood and that's why their eyes are a gold-ish amber." He made eye contact with me for a minute before nodding, "That's also part of the reason Jasper looked like he was in pain. He was new to the diet and he was an empath."

"The emotional toll coming here must have been heavy as fuck." I nodded taking another forkful of salad, "What about those guys at La Push? They got big out of nowhere a little too quick."

"Those bastards are bastardized werewolves, shape-sifters if you want to be technical. I empathize for two but the others could all drown in their own blood while their families burn."

"One of them killed him didn't they?" I nodded as I glared at the table.

"Jacob thought it be a good idea to shift in front of my father and it gave him a heart attack. Leah, the only female shifter I the pack and one of the two I empathize and sympathize for, caused her father's heart attack when she first shifted." I heard Tyler mutter 'damn' under his breath and I nodded, "Her and her brother Seth are the ones who told me what chased my father's death while the others lied and said he had been complaining about chest pains for the last month. I went to every doctor's appointment he had and not once did he or his doctor say anything about chest pains or any kind of heart problems."

"You said Leah's the only girl?" I nodded.

"Yeah her and Sam use to date and we're about to get married before he shifted, disappeared for like two weeks before coming back and imprinting on Leah's cousin. And instead of breaking it off with her, he cheated on her until she walked in on them in Sam's kitchen fucking against the fridge. Then to make it worse he's pack Alpha so she has to listen to him now and if forced to see his memories of the times he spent with Emily while they were still together when he tells new shifters about imprinting." Tyler looked like he wanted to say something but stayed quiet and let me continued, "There are signs that someone is about to change: they get taller, gain muscle pretty much overnight and lastly they get really sick. They get a fever up to 105 degrees and after that their pretty much a ticking time bomb before their first shift, which mainly seems to be triggered by anger but they can shift at will once they get the hang of it." I finished speaking as I moved the empty salad bowl and took some fries Tyler had on a plate for me.

"So they just ignored all the obvious signs because she's a girl?" I nodded, "The first in their tribe to ever shift?" At that I shrugged not really knowing because the tribe's council was full of misogynist.

"I don't know the council is sexist and they could have chosen to exclude any women shifters after there hadn't been any in recent years." I started taking a slight pause to make sure the words were setting in for him.

"As a way to stroke the boys ego's growing up think that they can be like those from their legends; until they realize the legends were true when they turn into giant fucking wolves. Then their egos really grow to the fucking moon and back." He finished for me, exactly the way I was going to say it too. I nodded and he shook his head, "Bet he tried to play victim saying that he couldn't control the imprint and his developing emotions for her cousin." The bell rung as I nodded and we cleaned off our table. I don't know why I was telling Tyler all these things, things I shouldn't be telling anyone; maybe it's because we're siblings of circumstance. I won't lie I've always felt this kind of pull toward him, in a strictly platonic way, but he was very persistent in his chase of me, like most boys when I first moved here. But now he's seems to have giving up hope of dating me and is trying to be my friend.

The month of November went by quickly with me reinventing myself in a few ways. I cut my hair and dyed most of it a border line orange like shade of red. I used some of the money Charlie had set up, should he ever die on the job, to buy new clothes, keep food in the fridge and bills paid. He even had emancipation papers ready to be sent for confirmation and approval so I wouldn't have to go back to Renée. For the rest of that month I had Tyler over because I hated how quite the house had become without my father. Tyler didn't mind saying that his mom hated looking at him because all she saw was his father and it was too much for her. She was barely able to keep up with the bills because of the drinking problem she picked up months after Tyler's father died and never got help for it. Tyler Crowley Sr. was a deputy that had been my father's partner, he was also my godfather (Beth told us when she was drunk and I was picking up Tyler for school), and his best friend before Billy. When he died my father lost a brother rather than a friend or a work partner. Growing up he always longed for a sibling and Tyler Sr. was the only one who fit the role when they meet in fourth grade. I don't remember him much, Renee hated him because she could never get him to fall at her feet like she could other men, but I remember him being there some nights when I had a nightmare. Both my dad and he would comfort me.

I got labeled a bad girl or badass at some point when the month was ending because of the change in not only my wardrobe and appearance but attitude as well. All my attitude was was me mimicking my father's cop persona that used to practice when I was younger. When I took on that persona, when I wore that mask, I couldn't doubt myself even if I tried; I was confident and brave, always ready for a fight but never picked one. Unless it was Tyler or a teacher I didn't talk to anyone, not even Angela who seemed to now only seemed to look at me in pity. Tyler said if I was going to dress and act like a bad girl I had to enhance my image- he took me to get my eyebrows done and learn how to apply make-up: cat eye and somkey eyes. He said they were all I needed to learn since he knew I wasn't a big fan of make-up. And I must say he wasn't wrong about enhancing my looks because I have straight girls doing double takes and outright staring, they used to glance my way a lot, with their jaws unhinged. I had fun walking up to a few of them and closing their mouths for them.

"I mean you have something, which is more than I can say for most girls in this town." Tyler said from as he and I sat on the stairs of our house, as Tyler more or less lived there, with cups of hot chocolate. It was the first weekend of December and Tyler said he didn't feel like sitting in the house saying something about getting fresh air. "Have you seen the girls in our school? You got no asses, box asses, triangles asses and that weird combo of having an ass but it's a flat ass. You know what I mean right? Where you think she got a real fat ass but you get a full view and instead of it being rounded out in the back its just lumpy or a board." I laughed at the disgusted face he made as he did a little shuffle with his hands before he just shook his head. I'm not sure how we got on the topic of my ass which veered to the asses of the girls at school but we did and according to him I have a 'bubble butt'. "Anyway we going to this party in Seattle tonight or what sis? I'm sure you can get some numbers from both male and female a like maybe even get someone to occupy your time. I didn't spend all that time teaching you how to dance and training your waistline for you to not go to at least one party." I rolled my eyes at him as I finished the last of my hot chocolate and went back in the house with him not far behind me.

"I hope you're not wearing that 'cause I'm sure as hell not wearing this." I said pointing to the sweat suites we were both wearing because we were being lazy. Tyler did a weird little dance before running up to his room and coming back down a few minutes later with all he needed for him to take his shower in the downstairs bathroom while I went to the one upstairs. It wasn't long before I stood in front of my closet clad in my bra and boy shorts. I picked up a pair of thick black tights and ripped red skinny jeans before I grabbed a plain white shirt and my black leather jacket. I grabbed a thick red, black and white flannel shirt that I wrapped around my waist should I need it later and a pair of Nike Ultra Flyknit. I had done my make-up before I went to my closet so I sent a total of thirty minutes getting ready. I grabbed my keys and wallet then headed down stairs and seeing Tyler sitting at on the coach with black slim jeans, black air Jordan retro ultra, a plain white shirt under a buttoned up thick red flannel shirt and gray Northface jacket. "Come on TJ." I said as I put on a black beanie and grabbed my truck keys on my way outside. I had gotten rid of my old truck a week before my dad died, because it held to many Cullen memories and it wasn't good for my recovery process, and replaced it with a 2006 Nissan crew cab mid-size pickup. We picked up Leah and Seth on the way as Tyler promised we would if I agreed to go to this stupid party.

Leah was grateful that I decide to go because that meant she didn't have to deal with the pack or Sam and their bullshit. Seth was, as always, happy that his sister was happy and wanted her to stay that way; he looked happy as well to get away from the pack and I was happy to help them. I could only image how Leah feels when all the pack members, other than her brother, are against her being in the pack as if it was her fault this happened to her. I looked at her in the rearview as she looked out the window lost in thought, "Seth met his imprint earlier today Sam forbid him from talking to her because she's a vampire. We broke away from the pack and have 36 hours left to leave the rez or they'll kill us." I slammed on the breaks as we pulled up to a stop light and whipped around to look at the Natives, "She's a human drinker names Cynthia she was looking for the tiny Cullen. She's following us now." Before I could react someone jumped in the truck bed when the light turned green, "That's her." I nodded and glanced at Tyler out the corner of my eye and saw him looking at the side mirror but his view was blocked by Seth was climbing out the window and to the truck bed.

"How are dealing?" Tyler and I both asked at the same time, Leah only shrugged.

"I'm happy for him; imprinting is supposedly rare but I don't think so I think it's finding your imprint who is also a Native American that's rare. People on the rez are generally racist, thankfully our parents weren't. Billy was only friends with Charlie because the tribe wanted to some form of power inside the town and thought what better way than to get the Chief of Police on your side; that being said Isa your old truck was bugged."

"I'm now in the mood for someone to come and fight me." I mumbled as I finally pulled up to the house the party was at and got out the truck. Seth jumped out the side of the truck bed and helped Cynthia out who then turned to look at Tyler and I. "Hey I'm Isa and this is my brother Tyler." Her red eyes bored into me and she tilted her head to the side. I couldn't help but think she looked familiar in the same way her name seemed to cause alarm bells to ring in my head.

"Cynthia Brandon. You knew my sister, she was your best friend and she left you without so much as a goodbye or even a glance into your future." As she spoke her eyes seemed to glaze over similar to Alice when she had a vision and who I'm assuming is her sister because the pixie was the only seer I knew. "Sorry about that, that was gift it seems to have a mind of its own. I can't see things like Mary could but I just know things and unlike my sister what I 'know' is finally there no other outcomes. For example Leah is in for a surprise, in a good way, when it comes time for her mating season and Tyler and Bella will be turned within the next three months." We all looked at Cynthia like she grew three heads and a third eye before a girl walked up to me and slipped a piece of paper in my hand then walked toward the house. I looked at Cynthia with a raised brow, "She'll slip a mickey in your drink which she'll somehow end up drinking." I nodded as the five of us walked into the house and Cynthia pulled Seth to the 'dance floor' after we found a place to hide our jackets. Leah was soon hounded by both men and women when took of the light sweater she was wearing under her jacket revealing black crop top and a flat tone stomach. I like to tease her about the fact that I have abs and she doesn't but she says she's still stronger and in better health than I am.

I lost Tyler an hour into the party when the DJ started to play Soca and Dancehall to the makeshift dance fall. I was babysitting a cup of Henny when I felt somebody, a girl I'm assuming, grind her ass against my front. With a chuckle I put my Henny cup down and grabbed her waist and put my dance practice to good use. "Shit and I came over here thinking 'Let me break this white girl real quick.' I didn't think you'd be able to handle me." The girl grinding on me said as she pressed herself flush against my body and pulled my head into her neck. I smirked happy the girl was a bit shorter than me as I kissed along her neck making her shiver against me. Our dance was cut short when I was pushed away from the beautiful caramel skin girl by a light skin stud. I internally groaned when I realized that this was the girls girlfriend and she was about 5'9 to my 5'5. "Shawna chill the fuck out, we was just dancing." The stud, Shawna, looked at the girl I was dancing with like she was crazy. By now the music stopped, lights were on and all eyes were on us.

"Just dancing Mara? Bullshit this white bitch was kissing all up on your neck and you were letting her. Don't stand there and tell me you were just dancing." Mara rolled her eyes while I just stood there like I wasn't involved in their drama before Shawna's eyes shifted towards me, "What none of the white bitches want you so you gotta go after black girls? Taken ones at that." I held my hands up in surrender as a chuckle passed my lips unintentionally.

"First of all your girl approached me for a dance and I had absolutely no clue she was taken. Though I can only assume you doing something wrong of she came to dance with me instead of you, if anything you should be mad at yourself." Shawna glared at me but I was unfazed, "Second I'm Cuban." It isn't a total lie both sets of my grandparents are Cuban which meant my parents are as well and so am I. White Cubans but still Cubans. "Third white bitches love me; I got a whole pocket full of numbers from them. Don't hate on my game because you can't keep your girl satisfied and she came to me." Not having any way to come back Shawna threw a punch that I dodged but was caught by another one from my left, by a friend of Shawna I'm guessing. The friend went to hit me again but Leah got to her and I focused on Shawna who was throwing another punch. Being the daughter of a cop comes with a lot of benefits like the fact they always want you to know how to defend yourself. Shawna's hand flew behind me as I shifted and grabbed it with my left hand and elbowed her in the face with my right. I quickly brought her right arm forward and heard it snap. Many of the rooms occupants flinched at the sound while I heard Seth chuckle. I let Shawna go and delivered a devastating low kick that made her stumble before she fell landing on her twisted arm. I shook my head at her and glanced at Mara before walking over to her and kissing her knowing Shawna was watching. "You should come visit me in Forks when you're done with this one." I said when I pulled away and patted Leah's shoulder, she was still holding down Shawna's friend, "TJ, Cyn, Set time to go." I called out as Leah put her sweater back on and Tyler handed me my jacket and beanie that came at some point during my fight.

I glance at where my Henny cup was and saw the girl that gave me her number outside pick it up and drink it while she talked to her friends. I lead my group out and we walked to my truck. I drove us to a sports store on the request of Seth who ran in and came out with two aluminum bats before we drove to a costume store and picked out mask. I bought an evil jester mask, Cynthia got a three face theater mask, Tyler got a skeleton gas mask, Leah got a serial killer mask and Seth got a bloody smiley face mask. We all looked at Seth when we got back in to the truck wondering if he was planning what we though he was planning. He waited till we were out of the mall strips before he put on his mask, grabbed a bat and climbed into the truck bed. I drove through a suburban area where their mail boxes were on the edge of the sidewalk, most likely so the mail men didn't have to get out their trucks, and Seth swung at the first box he saw. The flimsy box fell off its post and we all took turns standing in the truck bed or leaning out the window knocking boxes off their stakes. Seth seemed to be having the most fun out of all of use and I shared a look at Leah wondering what made our innocent Seth change so quickly. I saw Leah mouth 'the pack' and I nodded.

We drove back to Forks and dropped Cynthia off at my house before taking Leah and Seth to the rez and waited for them. While I didn't see Leah and Seth as siblings like I do Tyler they were still family in my eyes and I'll be damned if I abandon them when they need me. About 45 minutes later Leah and Seth are tossing bags of clothes and other personal items in the tuck bed while the other shifters are standing off in the distance watching. "Tyler grab the guns in the glove box will ya." Tyler did as I said and took on putting it on my lap and leaving him with the other one, "If they chase us we shoot to kill." I knew they could hear me and I didn't care- I cocked the gun and drove off.

These next couple months are going to interesting, chaotic and confusing I just know it. Going by Cynthia's gift Tyler and I are going to get turned at some point between now and April 1st. But who changes us? Why are they changing us, for what purpose? Will they care for us? Is it Cynthia and she's just not telling us? Will with like out sire? Are we all going to get along? Are they going to be cool with Leah and Seth? What happens after Tyler and I are turned are we hauling ass Forks? Out of Washington? Out of the U.S? Leah not only gets an imprint but there's some kind of bonus that comes along with them as well. _What if she got two, Gods way of saying 'Hey sorry for the shit I put you through so take these two people to spend your life with. Also they're some type of immortal creature so you don't have to worry about them dying anytime soon.'_ I snorted at the thought before I thought about something, _what about Tyler and I? Would we meet our mates anytime soon? Or will we be like the Cullen's cousins in Alaska who are like over 1,000 years old and still mateless? Ugh will we have good mates? Will they be the ones to change us?_

I pulled into the drive way of the house and looked at my new house mates with a small smile. Leah and Seth took the two rooms on the first floor that were usually for guest. As they set up their new rooms Tyler and I made some food Cynthia was putting some blood bags in the fridge, that should have freaked me out, or even Tyler, but neither of us gave it a second thought. I made sure we made more than enough food because I remember Seth saying that their inhuman metabolism lead to them eating more. When we finished, everyone sat at the table and looked at Cynthia while she made a plate and ate the food without making a disguised face.

"Fuck this is good. I haven't had a good home cooked meal in like 80 years." Cynthia moaned as she dug in to the handmade patties Tyler made. "What? Do I have something on my face or did you guys not know human drinkers can still eat actually food?"

"Both." The four of said and she rolled her eyes.

"Well yeah, we can still eat human food, it's part of the reason we don't have to hunt every week like animal drinkers." The rest of us started putting food on our plates as she spoke, "If we have a diet of both human blood and food we can go up to four months without having to drink blood. If its only blood than just two months within the last feeding."

5\. Self-insert using Tyler

A/N(mainly for the people who may be re-reading this if any): Just realized I said Edward was the Cullen she was with when I was originally going to make it his Life and Death counterpart Edythe


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